Deadbeat Designs

Windy

I was hoping for something a little more interesting to post today but nothing has gone quite as it was supposed to. No tennis this morning due to some ridiculous winds - it's like a being in a hurricane on a sunny day out there! I finally had to turn on my air conditioning a couple of nights ago thanks to some 80 degree days but whatever blew through here last night brought the temperature down and now the heat's back on. Not only that, it's supposed to be in the mid 20's tonight so the plants I brought out last week have to go back in the garage, dammit! Of course I took advantage of the warm days to do some yard work and planted a few things which will probably be murdered tonight. I'm glad vegetation can't scream! I'd throw a sheet over them but with these winds it would just end up in Louisiana by morning. 

But enough about that. I'm working on a project that I'll post this next week. It's sort of ridiculous and is WAAAAY too much trouble but it will be fun to look at and you can all fantasize about doing it. I might as well wait since you all will probably be glued to Tim Holtz's blog to see his big announcement. He's been counting down the days so you know it must be big and NOT some marketing scheme to sell more Ranger products. We're on pins and needles, Tim. Really we are....

Texas Independence Day - March 2

Texas Independence Day is next Monday, March 2! Now is the perfect time to work on some cards for all of your lucky Texan friends or, just for the fun of it, for your out of state friends as well. Why not confuse them with a Happy Independence Day card in March? Now get off the computer and get busy! 

and finally....

Well, I meant to do this earlier but it was a beautiful day and there were things that needed to be done like tennis, washing my truck, driving around in my shiny clean truck enjoying the beautiful day... 

But back to business. Here are the last two pages in the paper bag book. More of the Basic Grey paper, more Marvy Markers, more glitter glue, more everything! The left page would be perfect for an actual seed packet but since I had the stamp, it made more sense to use it. I used Berol Prismacolors on that and doubled them up so it would look a little more impressive. 

The ribbon really adds and although I'm not much into ribbon, I have to admit that it does make a difference. Then inside the last pocket is another photo of bluebonnets. More bluebonnets than you could shake a stick at - whatever that means. Come to think of it, I could shake a stick at any number of bluebonnets so that saying doesn't really apply. Unless I had to shake a stick at each bluebonnet individually which would be difficult simply from a time standpoint. Then there's my tennis elbow to consider. Anyway, it's a dumb saying which doesn't even merit these last few sentences! Sometimes my train of thought gets derailed.  Anyway, if I had any friends worthy enough to send one of these books to, I would probably insert a short note in the last pocket, but since most of my friends are deadbeats like me, there will be no notes and no books for them! 

Finally, the back of the book needed a little something so I chose the 'barbed bookplate' and 'I love Texas' stamps. No need to leave any surface unstamped!

The Academy Awards are tonight and although I haven't seen a single movie that has been nominated, I feel as if I know who's going to win. And despite not caring in the least, I will probably watch because it is such a spectacle and actors are such an odd bunch. All that craving of the spotlight I'll never understand! Must not have gotten enough attention when they were children. Oh well. More posts next week!

More Paper Bag Bluebonnets

And on to the next page... more Marvy's, this time covered with glitter glue - Stickles Star Dust to be exact, although obviously any of the clear Stickles will do since they hardly show up in the photo. I also added some green to the bottom and stippled blue at the top so it wouldn't be so white and the 'bluebonnets' script lightly stamped in the background adds some depth. 

These are the newest bluebonnets and are sort of a rip-off of the lupine from A Stamp In The Hand. I definitely used Kat's for inspiration but mine are definitely more bluebonnet-y. Plus mine come in 3 sizes, all of which are completely necessary! The other page is a photo that my dad took along with the punched out 'wildflower days' stamp. I used Marvy's newest gigantic rectangle scallop punch but since it was too big I thought it worked better running off the edge. And don't you love my Levi's denim jacket as a background? I bought it in the early '80's and it's in great condition and still fits. Of course I only wash it about once every 5 years. It's one of my favorite things and unless I get really fat, I'll probably be buried in it! - except that I'd rather not be buried!

That reminds me of a funny story - at least it appeals to my sick sense of humor. Anyway, in a typically morbid conversation with some friends I mentioned that despite loving cemeteries, I would prefer to be cremated. Coffins take up so much space and I don't see any benefit to being buried other than having a cool or, in my case, ridiculous tombstone. Mine would say something like

I told you I was sick

or

Here lies Mark, who's life was full

until he tried to milk a bull

Someone asked what they should do with my ashes and I told them to throw them away! They are ashes, after all and I really don't think I'm going to care at that point! So one of my smart ass friends said that she would take my ashes out of the dumpster and make little hourglass egg timers for everyone! 

I know - completely unrelated and I probably should have saved that for Halloween. Oh well, maybe I'll resurrect it in October anyway. You'll probably forget about it by then, right?

Paper Bag Book part II

So here we are inside the cover. The patterned paper is from Basic Grey - and why the English spelling of grey instead of gray? Does anyone know? I don't think they are in the UK but maybe they are. I bet it's either a mistake or they're just trying being high-falutin' (yes, that's how you spell it - it's in the dictionary!). Anyway, I would like their paper just as well with any spelling although I was really looking for something a little more edgy. This design is a little sweet, but it probably has a more broad appeal so it'll do. Everything is pretty straightforward - dye-based inks, colored pencil on the large bluebonnet on the right. The fold of the bag opening was a little tricky but since I can't figure out how to type instructions, you'll just have to figure it out for yourself. It's not exactly rocket science! 

Inside the pocket is a close up photo - I had to practically lie down to take it and probably crushed a few precious flowers... sorry Lady Bird. I embossed the Texas Forever stamp on top - remember not to emboss on an actual photo! They can't take the heat! This was a color copy so it didn't bubble or melt. It did smell sort of bad and may have caused me to inhale some horrible toxic fumes but on the other hand I grew up in Houston so what's done is done! If you're not going to wear a respirator in traffic, why bother doing it while you emboss? Tomorrow or Saturday I'll post the next 2 pages. Don't worry - I only used two bags so there is an end!

Paper Bag Book Cover

I was beginning to think this project would never end! It seemed like a good idea at the time - and the first few were actually pretty fun to make but by number 9 I was over it! I made one for each of the Texas stores that carries my stamps - not because I'm such a nice guy or anything but in the hopes that they would make huge orders and keep me out of the poor house for another month! Hopefully a few of them will make this project into a class so if you are a customer of any of these stores, feel free to add a little consumer pressure!

I've never really  made a paper bag book before this one. It''s one of those projects that looks like you recycled but really you'll probably have to buy the paper bags as well as everything else for the pages. Of course if you're sitting on a stockpile of used lunch bags here's your chance! Just try to cover up all the greasy food spots and maybe give them a shot of Febreze. Then you should probably reconsider hoarding old lunchbags and whatever else you're saving for that 'special purpose'! Get some help!

Today I'm showing the cover of the book and I'll add more pages throughout the week. It's not exactly a 'Who Shot J.R.' cliffhanger or anything but spreading the pages out means I don't have to think of anything else to post for a few days! I'm a deadbeat, remember?! The 'B' is for bluebonnet stamps was embossed using a blue Versafine ink and clear powder then cut out with deckle edge scissors. The ribbon really makes this pop and I got it from Lynn at Stamp Shack in Fort Lauderdale.

More pages coming soon! 

More Bluebonnets

Here's another card I made for some of my favorite Texas stamp & scrapbook stores. Now admittedly, this is sort of a silly idea since everyone knows that if you plant bluebonnet seeds now you'll end up with a lovely patch of dirt. According to the seed packet, they should be planted in the fall but are you going to remember to send out seed packets in August? Probably not! Besides, I'm just trying to sell some stamps here so take the idea for what it's worth!

The front of the card was cut at an angle - I didn't use my protractor so your guess is as good as mine. Just cut it so it looks good and leave as much room on the front as you need. I cut some scrapbook paper to fit and colored the edges with a Marvy pad. The bluebonnet was stamped on watercolor paper and inked with Marvy Markers #'s 3, 4, 10 and 11. Mist with a little water before you stamp to blend the colors. Next I added a little glitter glue on top to tart it up a bit. You can't really see the background behind the seeds but I stamped the word "bluebonnets" at an angle in Colorbox white. A little ribbon, adhesive and waiting for the glitter glue to dry and you're done! Oh, and I found the seeds at Lowe's. Walmart also has some but the picture on the front wasn't as good - in fact, I don't even think it was a bluebonnet! But that's Walmart for you! I feel dirty every time I go - and not the good kind of dirty either.

Next week I'll start posting pics of my paper bag book. So far I've made a book for each Texas store that carries my stamps so if you live near one, drop in and see! Here's a preview of one of the photos - my dad actually took this one. This is exactly the kind of photo that 40 years ago would have included me and my brother trying to smile and look natural.... like anyone looks natural sitting in a field of bluebonnets - especially on the side of a highway with 18-wheelers speeding by. But I guess it's just what you do when you live in Texas.

Bluebonnets!

Well it's that time of year again - no not Valentine's Day! That over-hyped excuse for a holiday is just about behind us and hardly worth mentioning. Besides, V-day is only one day out of an otherwise perfectly good year whereas BLUEBONNET SEASON can last for a month depending on the weather and where you live! Those of you Texas know what I'm talking about. We just can't get enough! If you've never experienced the thrill of seeing our bluebonnet-covered hills, well there's just no way to explain. Even I look forward to them and I'm about as cynical and jaded as you can get!

So here's a card to get a jump on spring - get it? jump? rabbit? Ha - I crack myself up! Of course if you aren't fortunate enough to live in Texas you might want to color the bluebonnets something besides blue. In that case, they would just be your garden variety lupines which are perfectly fine. However, if you are a true Texan, there is only one color choice - BLUE! Now I'm not saying that if you choose another color the rubber stamp police will show up at your door but you can be sure that the ghost of Lady Bird Johnson will be looking down on you pursing her lips and shaking her withered old finger just like she did when LBJ burped at the dinner table.

I'm sure you can figure it out but just in case, the bluebonnets are stamped using Marvy Markers #'s 3, 4, 10 and 11. The rabbit was stamped in Memento Black and the background shaded with colored pencil. If I weren't so lazy, I would have cut out a mask and stippled the background but the pencil seemed easier at the time. Then the happy spring,  swirl and mini flower were stamped in various dye based inks and punched out with a Marvy scallop punch (That's twice I've typed 'Marvy' but do you think they'll ever send me anything free for mentioning them? Ha! Fat chance!). The ribbon was some that Lynn from Stamp Shack sent me. Anyway, it's a nice enough card and one that you can send to just about anyone and since it includes a rabbit, it gives the impression of an Easter card without sending the message that God likes you best. By the way, he doesn't.

I've got a few more bluebonnet cards to post over the next few weeks as well as a crazy paper bag book that is in the works. Stay tuned!

Another Video

This is more of a test, really. I'm trying to see if my brain has expanded enough to embed a video to this site. Despite being fairly familiar with the English language I find that following computer-related instructions doesn't come naturally. I can follow a recipe if I have to and can put together furniture even if the instructions have been badly translated from Chinese but somehow I neither speak nor understand the computer's language. But this is 2009 and if my 70 year old parents can figure out how to use their cell phones, I ought to be able to figure this out, dammit!

Regarding the video - it's really nothing special. I just used some photos of sample cards and used an iMovie themed format. Luckily the thoughtful folks at Apple have included video tutorials of just about every function they offer so speaking the language isn't all that necessary. And since the tutorials are always available, you don't even need to remember anything! In other words, you can look really smart and still stay grounded in your stupidity! Let's face it - ignorance really is bliss!

Hell

Well, hell has apparently frozen over. I thought it would never happen but it seems that a website is actually becoming real!! And I did it myself which is even more of a feat. I'm not as bad as some people who still have vcr's with the time blinking but I'm about one step away so when I am able to do something technical, I feel like a freeeeeekin' genius! Of course, the folks at Apple have figured this out and know that the euphoria one experiences from technical success will only make them spend more money. So check it out and remember it's a work in progress. I haven't begun to put all of my images up yet but I did make a little movie. Watch it fast before I get a call from Bob Dylan telling me how uncool it was to use his song. Sorry Bob, I've got a friend working on some original music and will switch it later.... maybe. Anyway, here's the address:

www.deadbeatstamps.com