Well, I guess you all know by now that I wasn't one of Barbara Walters' most fascinating people of 2011. Time Magazine also ignored me. However, I am happy to announce that I have been awarded Person of the Year by Waste of Time Magazine. I couldn't be more pleased.
Totally ripped that off from Letterman.
There's really no point in posting anything until after New Years since it's unlikely that anyone is going to tackle any new holiday projects. Apparently you people have family and/or societal obligations this time of year.
so-ci-e-tal - adj.
noting or pertaining to large social groups,
or to their activities,customs, etc.
In other words, you're probably wasting your time with things you think you're supposed to do.
Nevertheless, here's a post - feel free to ignore it because you're probably not going to make these.
I don't have a tree or wrapped packages or other societal expectations of the season so I'm using one of my skeletons to display them.
I love the Ornate Corner especially when it's not used in the corner.
Nobody puts Baby in the corner.
That really has nothing to do with anything, does it?
Finally, here's a card I made for my friend, Dee. Dee is quite a pistol. She and I had a conversation about how we prefer Halloween over Christmas so this is the card I'm sending her. I was going to replace 'DAY' with 'DEE' but that would have read 'DEE OF THE DEAD' and Dee is anything but dead - although she IS like 90 or something.
Just kidding, Dee.
Anyway, I cut out the 'DAY' line and replaced it with a computer-generated 'CHRISTMAS'. Stipple brushes, colored pencils and Stickles... you know the drill... and I cut out a Santa hat and stuck it on the skull. Inside I used the Happy Whatever stamp. I'm pretty sure she won't get another card like this one!
Today I'm off to my own societal obligation: my brother's wedding. Good grief! Yeah, yeah - I know most of you probably just loooooove weddings but for me, they're pretty much my idea of hell. All those people, shaking hands and smiling and talking - but not about anything interesting. Ugh. Plus, it's almost 2012 - haven't we evolved beyond marriage yet? I mean, what's the point? Scratch the whole thing and spend the money on a house!
Anyway, the good news is I'll never have to go to another one!
And I've sworn off funerals as well.
Love the card...I've just received a call offering a contract for me to model as a mummy in a new card line thanks to your blog.
Posted by: Dee | December 17, 2011 at 05:22 PM
For months now, I've been trying to "place" your "monologues" because they have this familiar tone to them. And this one just solved the puzzle I've struggled with for so long. . .I have been watching old reruns of the Alfred Hitchcock show, and I swear I am hearing his voice as I'm reading your lines. It is a match made in . . .for all intents and purposes, heaven. The dry, ingenious sense of humor that comes so naturally. Not that you even faintly resemble him (based on naked butt picture)you certainly match his wonderful style and genius. I think it was the skeleton holding the Christmas tag that gave me this epiphany. Funny card too. . .Best, Curt
Posted by: Curt O'Brien | December 17, 2011 at 05:58 PM
You crack me up! Thrilled to know there is someone else out there who thinks marriage and weddings in particular are a colossal waste of a day you could spend doing nothing...
Most of my Christmas cards contain a lot of black. They would benefit from a skeleton with a santa hat... Thanks for the idea!
Posted by: Deborah | December 17, 2011 at 06:29 PM
Mark, the next time you get a wedding invitation let me know and I will gladly be your proxy. Hey--it is free food and drink!
Love the Christmas tags and yes I will be making them for next year. I am one of those sappy people who happen to like Christmas and always have. Hate the commercialization of it, but love the spirit of it aside from the monetary part. I know----you don't believe in that either. But I like you anyway. :)
Posted by: Julia | December 27, 2011 at 04:07 PM